Can Purell be used as lube?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
