She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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