Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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