We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)