It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.