the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me