Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"

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(806): View more from Texas

Two words Indian burn...

(1-806): View more from Texas

What did she think it was, a shake weight?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet

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(510): View more from California

Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.

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These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Read it at the TFLN blog
(480): View more from Arizona

i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone

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(760): View more from California

coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.

(713): View more from Texas

You always say the most romantic things

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