Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god