How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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