If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
