he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
