her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
