Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
