What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
