We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
