Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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