This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
