I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
