I think I died a long time ago.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
