im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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