I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
