Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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