i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
