Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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