Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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