We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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