SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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