matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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