I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
