hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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