wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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