She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
time to smoke my breakfast
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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