i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
