I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
