Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
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you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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