week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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