when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
