my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
