he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
