It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
