GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
