I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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