u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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