It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
