exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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