What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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