I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
