i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
