my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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