I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
