I accidentally burped into my bong.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
