I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
