this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
