Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
