my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
