I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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