He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
