Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
