Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
