This is not my ceiling
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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