the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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