Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
