remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
