I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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