in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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