Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
how drunk are you?
Several
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
