Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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